What’s happening with husbands these days? A lot of wives are complaining of not having enough sex. At least the kind of sex they desire.
But the women are unable to discuss it with their husbands. Indeed, a lot of women find it embarrassing to ask for sex.
If you have been in a romantic relationship long enough then you would have experienced days when you were in the mood for sex but your partner wasn’t interested or vice versa. And that’s quite normal.
Sex is a huge part of most romantic relationships, but if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you might not be doing the deed as often as you used to. If you find yourself wanting more sex, but don’t quite know how to have that conversation, you’re not alone.
Asking for more sex can be a sensitive and challenging conversation to have with your partner. However, open and honest communication is the key to addressing any issues or concerns in a relationship.
Everyone deserves to feel sexually satisfied. And for those in relationships, we know sexual satisfaction is interlinked with overall relationship satisfaction. So if this is something that’s on your mind, know that it is worth bringing it up to your partner.
Here are some tips on how to approach the topic of wanting more sex with your partner in a way that neither party is embarrassed:
1. Reflect on your feelings and desires: Before bringing up the topic of more sex with your partner, take some time to reflect on your feelings and desires. Think about why you want more sex in the relationship and how it would benefit both you and your partner. Consider what aspects of your relationship or sex life are lacking and what changes you would like to see.
2. Choose the right time and place: It is important to choose the right time and place to have this conversation with your partner. Avoid bringing up the topic of more sex in the heat of the moment or during a busy or stressful time. Instead, set aside some dedicated time to have a calm and open discussion about your sexual needs and desires.
3. Approach the topic with empathy: When bringing up the topic of wanting more sex with your partner, it is important to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge that discussing sex can be a sensitive topic and reassure your partner that you are bringing it up because you care about the relationship and want to work together to improve it.
4. Use “I” statements: When discussing your desire for more sex with your partner, use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, instead of saying: “You never want to have sex anymore,” say: “I have been feeling like we haven’t been as intimate as we used to be and I would like to work on that together.”
5. Ask for your partner’s perspective: It is important to allow your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about the topic of more sex in the relationship. Ask them how they feel about the current level of intimacy and if any factors may be affecting their desire for sex. Listen to their perspective without judgment and try to understand where they are coming from.
6. Be specific about what you want: When discussing your desire for more sex with your partner, be specific about what you are looking for. For example, you may want to suggest increasing the frequency of sex, trying new things in the bedroom, or setting aside dedicated time for intimacy. Being clear and specific about your needs can help your partner understand what you are looking for and how they can support you.
7. Be open to compromise: In any relationship, it is important to be willing to compromise and find a solution that works for both partners. If your partner is hesitant about increasing the frequency of sex, consider discussing other ways to increase intimacy and connection in the relationship. This could include spending more quality time together, engaging in activities that bring you closer, or exploring other ways to express your love and affection for each other.
8. Seek outside support if needed: If you and your partner are struggling to have a productive conversation about wanting more sex in the relationship, consider seeking outside support from a therapist or counsellor. A trained professional can help facilitate the conversation, guide how to improve communication, and offer insights into how to address any underlying issues that may be affecting your sexual relationship.
9. Reassure your partner of your love and commitment: it is important to reassure your partner that your desire for more sex in the relationship is not a reflection of their desirability or worth. Make sure to express your love and commitment to your partner, and emphasise that you are bringing up this topic because you care about the relationship and want to work together to strengthen your connection.
Let me say it is perfectly valid to break up with someone due to sexual incompatibility. It’s not wrong or cruel. If this is the only sexual relationship you have, it needs to be good! So if you talk about it and make some changes and take some steps and things still aren’t working, it’s OK to walk away.
In conclusion, asking for more sex in a relationship can be a challenging but important conversation to have with your partner. By approaching the topic with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can work together to address any issues or concerns and strengthen your intimacy and connection. Remember to be patient, open-minded, and willing to compromise as you navigate this sensitive topic with your partner.
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