Oral Sex: What is in it, asks Bosede Ola-Samuel


For the avoidance of doubt, oral sex means using your mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate your partner’s genitals or anus.

Both men and women can give their partners oral sex. Oral sex is also variously called ‘going down’, ‘blow job’, ‘giving head’, ‘69’, or ‘rimming’, among other names.

Medically, oral sex has names too ─ oral sex on a woman (the vagina, vulva, and clitoris) is called cunnilingus; on a man (the penis), it is called fellatio. If oral sex involves the anus, it’s called anilingus.

Many people are talking and discussing about oral sex. It’s also causing uproars among married couples.

While some spouses find it convenient, others consider it disgusting. While some others want to know if it’s worth experimenting on, others are simply saying it’s a no-go area.

I heard a wife saying that her husband was demanding a strange kind of sex, which I suspect is oral sex. A husband is also feeling guilty about having to continue with oral sex with his wife.

According to him, his conscience has given him no peace about it, after introducing his wife to it. Now, the wife doesn’t want to hear anything about sex, if it’s not oral.

The two camps are also not sparing efforts at winning the arguments for and against.

One interesting thing about the camps is that they are not gender-based. That is, both genders are in the two camps.

As we have wives routing for it, so do we have wives strongly opposed to it. This is also the pattern with the husbands.

There are ‘nayers’ and ‘sayers’ among them too. We have problems when a couple has a ‘sayer’ and a ‘nayer’. It becomes ‘yam pepper, scatter, scatter.’

The grounds for and against also cut across religions. While some Christians and Muslims have clocked in for oral s3x, others in both religions are vehemently opposed to it, considering it as a sacrilege.

Another ground for consideration is the medical consequences.

While many are quick to point to the fact that the upsurge in cases of cancer of the throat and cervix in recent years is traceable to oral s3x being on the increase, others are quick to dismiss such a conclusion as not being scientifically proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

An emerging fact about oral s3x is that of pleasure. It’s pleasurable for people to be routing for it. People will not stick to anything that is not pleasure-based.

There is something pleasurable in it for people to be ready to part ways with their spouses if they are denied the opportunity of such an experience. So, that oral sex is pleasurable is not deniable.

Associated risks of oral sex        

Medical risks: There are undeniable medical risks associated with oral s3x. The argument that the risk of contracting cancer of the throat and cervix is not scientifically proven beyond reasonable doubt is not enough ground to dismiss the associated risks.

The truth is that there is medical evidence for credence to the risk of cancer through oral s3x.

Many medical practitioners have come up with positions, through professional practices, linking oral sex with certain medical concerns, of which cancer is one. These concerns are globally available through the internet.

Marital disharmony risks: Oral sex is a source of marital disharmony. When a couple consists of a nayer and a sayer, the marriage becomes endangered.

This is already playing out among many couples today, tearing marriages apart.

While some couples are in a cold war, not wanting to fight dirty for religious reasons, others are on serious warpaths.

In some instances, one will think it’s the camps of ex-President Trump and President Biden that are at war.

What a precarious situation for such marriages. So, we cannot deny the fact of oral s3x fanning the fire of disharmony in marriage.

Spiritual acceptance risks: Some people are opposed to oral sex for fear of not finding acceptability with God. That is, “God will punish me for it since it is not acceptable to Him.”

While this is not a generally acceptable position, it should not be dismissed with a simple wave of the hand.

You should think about if it is a spiritual truth that leads to eternal damnation. Will you be ready to trade it for a momentary pleasure that ends on earth?

Risk of undermining nature or God’s nature: I think we are here ─ oral sex ─ because of adventures. Man naturally is adventurous.

Many inventions today came as a result of man’s search for a better life. With such inventions also came certain negative consequences.

Man, in fun-seeking, must have strayed into the foray of oral s3x.

It is not the normal pattern of s3xual satisfaction and procreation. Or is there any link between oral s3x and procreation?

Couples, majorly still have to end up with the normal routine of sex for conception to take place.

Or has any woman gotten pregnant through the mouth? So, why risk undermining nature in search of pleasure or for the sake of adventure? Is it worth the risk?

God or nature (for the sake of those who have a problem with the God factor in creation) did not erroneously position the s3x organs i.e. underneath. Why turn upside down to seek pleasure from the s3x organs?

But curiosity led us to where we are today, for which grave consequences are steering us in the face. If care is not taken, that curiosity will trap us like the monkey that is curiously trapped with a banana.

Therefore, oral sex requires that you look before you leap in the following manner:

Don’t start a fire you cannot quench. If you didn’t start your marriage with oral s3x, in the commonly understood term, don’t let curiosity lead you there. You may never imagine how far it will drag you on that road.

Count the cost to your marriage, in case you have an unwilling spouse, who had to be coerced or violated for it. You may destroy a happy marriage, and by extension, a happy family, in the end.

Think of the medical consequences in case it is true. Can you afford such a cancerous price for s3xual satisfaction?

Conclusively, it is proverbially stated that you don’t force a person not to contract leprosy as long as he is willing and ready to live in isolation for the rest of his sojourn on Earth. Such isolation is not like that of COVID-19.

The choice for oral sex is that of individuals or a couple. It’s a free world. So, have fun, but with the full assurance that consequences will call you to give an account.

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